Perspective of a moron
by jojoangel01
Summary: Companion to Monday's Scared to death, 5x17. Spoiler for the sneak peeks. Because really, what was he thinking saying no to sex with Beckett? And thinking he could get away with it? He really should have known better...


**Scared to death I - **

**Perspective of a moron  
**

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Everybody who's ever met Richard Castle would agree: the man is fun, charming, childish, smart and witty, among other things. One of the things that nobody would associate with him, however, is broody. In fact, not even a handful of people have ever seen him brood.

Nevertheless, tonight, mystery writer and hobby cop Richard Castle couldn't help but brood and pace around his bedroom and his office. Now, people would think it's because of the 'very real' threat of his upcoming demise through beholding of certain disreputable video material. Surprisingly, even to him, that's not exactly the case. Sure, his imminent death was a bad thing but there was something much more disturbing to him at this moment in time.

The reason for his late evening pacing has long legs, gorgeous eyes and lush curv…hair. That, adding to his own stupidity in refusing her tonight, have everything to do with his unease. Still, he couldn't go to her now and take her up on her offer, could he? She would never take him serious again. Well, serious-ish. God, he was so stupid. He threw himself face first onto his bed.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid man! First you go and watch that stupid video and then, as if that's not stupid enough, you say no to your super hot girlfriend? No? To Beckett? To Beckett and more of those pictures that drive you absolutely crazy in a hear beat? Are you crazy, man? Are you insane? Perspective, you said. Perspective, my ass. Gain perspective for what? The only perspective you ever needed, you _moron_, was to gaze upon the beauty that is Kate Beckett and now that you are allowed to see her naked you bail? What's wrong with you?_

"Yes!" he nearly shouted, jerking upright from his position on the bed. "What's wrong with me? I mean, clearly she was teasing…well, mostly but what if not? What if she really was hot for me and not just teasing and oh my god, why am I narrating again?" he asked the elephant on the panting on his wall and immediately slapped a palm to his head.

_Now I am talking to inanimate animals in inanimate objects hanging on my wall in my bedroom that won't see any animation tonight either unless I provide it single handedly, pun sadly intended and oh my god how pathetic am I and my thoughts, anyway? I swear I am going crazy and all because of the teasing of this minx of a girlfriend that I have and…_

Just then his cellphone rang, startling the living daylights out of him. His whole body jerked upright and promptly tumbled over the edge of his bed. However, as quickly as he fell, he rose again, popping upright like a daisy and threw himself on the bed, reaching over to get to his blasted cell.

The beautiful smile of his girlfriend melted his heart a tiny bit before he answered it rather timidly, as if scared to find out what was awaiting him on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Hey," her pretty voice purred through the line. "I just wanted to check if you were still alive."

"Charming, Beckett," he replied dryly and rolled over to lie on his back. "Yes, I haven't died yet. Thanks for asking"

"Good," she breathed deeply, ignoring his sarcasm and for a moment he was touched by the real concern in her voice.

"Missed me, did ya?" Castle asked nonchalantly, belying his heartbeat that had started beating slightly faster at the thought.

"Yes, I miss you pretty much right now." Kate replied in the same, breathy voice and Castle gasped quietly. She was never one for fueling his childish ideas and needy questions but tonight she seems very accommodating so he decided to try his luck and keep the inappropriate comments to himself.

"And are you happy that I am still alive?" he asked tentatively, only the tiniest trace of playful and curious need in his voice.

"Oh yes," the evil woman breathed again and he could have sworn he heard a tiny moan lace in her voice. Was she trying to seduce him over the phone to pay him back? Make him suffer?

"Kate?" was all he could muster to say in confusion before she interrupted him again.

"Well, Castle," she exhaled long and deep. "I must admit, I am feeling pretty alive at the moment myself…"

"Well, that's great," his faster-than-brain mouth replied automatically, "but why wouldn't you? I mean it was me who watched the vid…" He abruptly stopped talking, eyes opening wide in realization when his brain finally caught up with her words. All of a sudden, his heart throbbed painfully in his chest and he slowly and deliberately sat up in his bed, taking deep breaths to steady his nerves.

"Kate?" he asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer to the question he knew had to follow.

"Yes?" she breathed out and he gulped.

"Are you… are you touching yourself?" he whispered the last part as if afraid to be overheard, still really not sure if he wanted to know the answer but knowing he couldn't live without it anymore.

"Yes," she sighed the word and Castle groaned loudly, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Oh god! You can't do that to me, woman!"

"Why not?" she asked and there was definitely a smile in her voice. The evil temptress! "I just figured since you didn't want to help, I have to do it alone."

"You know I was just trying to prot-" but his half-hearted reply was cut short by a moan from her that he could feel right down to his groin.

"Kate, please. I am trying to do the right thing here and-" again he was cut off by a particularly juicy groan from the woman on the other line and there was definitely an answering twitch in his pants.

"Sometimes I think you are sent to punish me for every indecent thing I ever did, baby." He said, not really meaning it and they both knew it.

She laughed softly, her breathing deeper and was it just him or did it get faster and more unsteady as well? Before realizing he was doing it, Castle was already dressed in whatever he could find and was closing his front door behind him.

"Fine, I can see where I overreacted a little but… Don't you dare finish without me," he warned.

"Who said I wanted your help?" the detective replied defiantly, a smile firm on her face.

He growled, scaring the doorman in passing. Waving him off, he briskly walked out of the building and down the street.

"I said, don't finish without me!" the writer replied in an authoritative voice that he nearly never used with her and the deep whimper/sigh that he heard might have been his imagination but probably was not.

"We'll see," was her only reply as she disconnected the call, a happy and self-satisfied smile on her face.

He's never made it to her house faster than he did that night.

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_Well, what can I say? The sneak peek inspired me. Maybe even so much that more it to follow..._


End file.
